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Outside help

September 27, 2013

Happy Friday ya’ll!

I know we all worked hard to get here.

I was telling my friend about this blog and I told her that it was about alcoholism and daily living…something like that.  When I have told other people I get reactions like, Awesome!, Fantastic, good for you!  Not from this friend.  She told me that she wishes that I could share the other aspects of my life because I am so much more than a recovering alcoholic.  Umm, excuse me?

So, I must tell you, my “friend” is actually my therapist.  Yes, some are sicker than others and I am one of those people.  Sometimes in recovery we need outside help in addition to 12 step programs, sponsorship and fellowship.  I am one of those people.  She always opens our sessions by asking me, “what did you do this week to be Codependent no more?!”, she often raises her fist in the air with enthusiasm while she asks.   She went on to say that her wish for me is to one day stand outside of alcohol and be completely independent from it.

I understand where she is coming from.  Often times people in recovery go from the obsession of drinking to the obsession of recovery.  They eat, sleep, drink recovery (and about 12 cups of coffee a day).  We may become fanatics about it and our actions can support the “cult-like” stigma we get from time to time.  I personally don’t see what’s wrong with that and don’t have the same wishes for myself as my therapist friend has for me.

I don’t know how to stand independent of my recovery.  My recovery has given me all the other things that she claims I have to offer.    Often times I have found that my outside help and my recovery program don’t walk hand in hand.  In our search for, codependence no more!, she pushes me to have a voice and stand up for myself…this can be scary ground for an egotistical alcoholic like me.  Really, all I need sometimes is for someone to just whisper, “you’re right and they were wrong” for me to be standing on my soap box with a microphone, lighting that person’s picture on fire.  Luckily, I know this and will usually stick to my recovery road when there is a fork ahead.

I don’t want to start quoting my program or the slogans we say, but I’ll tell ya, I want too.  I found something that truly helped me and all I want to do is give it to other people so they can have it too.

That’s it.  Short and sweet.  Enjoy your weekend!

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3 Comments
  1. Shaena permalink

    I love the topic you chose for your blog! I know your therapist meant well because you are so much more than a recovering alcoholic but you have such a great story to share! I don’t think many people outside of AA really understand it and it’s great to get the inside view. You go Creepy!

  2. Sounds like she’s got her eye on the horizon line and you have it, rightfully and correctly for the moment, on the dashboard dials. Respect your own process and hold on to what gives you strength. The rest will – or won’t – come with time but if you have found your sobriety – hang on with both hands. And… congrats!

  3. Amane permalink

    What? What is it? You’re not going to share? grrrrr. I think the blog is awesome. It’s really interesting for people who don’t understand addiction to hear directly from someone who deals with it.

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