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Morning Meditation

October 1, 2013

Did anyone else’s monday just fly by them?  I really wanted to get on here but the next thing I know, its 9 PM and I am on the couch watching Bad GIrls Club.  All day I had an idea for a post about my love/hate relationship with beer breath the foul oder that seeps from people’s pores and from drains in bars.  That smell is intoxicating to me.  Its like the smell of skunk, you know its nasty but you can’t help but to breathe it in real deep….just me?  I was attempting to write about it last night and my computer wouldn’t work, I am taking that as a sign not to write about it.  Instead I decided to talk about meditation.

A friend of mine asked that I write about meditation and how I do it…That’s right, I get requests now, I have made it to the big leagues!!

So for me, I meditate because I have too.  Its part of my steps that I have to do daily.  I say that I have to because it is really hard for me to shut my head off and not think.  All I end up doing is thinking about not thinking.  The purpose of meditation is to relax your mind, to let go of the chaos of life and be still.  It is also a time, I am told, that once you get good at it, your Higher Power can come in and guide you.  That doesn’t happen for me.  I have been told that to stay sober and keep the great life you have, you pray, meditate, go to meetings, work with a sponsor, work with a sponsee, be honest, and be kind and loving to all (even at work).  I am not an A student at honesty and being kind and loving to all, so I really got to bank up on pray and meditation.

So for me, this is what meditation looks like:

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Prayer, talking with my higher prayer, I consider apart of my meditation.  It took a lot of practice to only concentrate on my conversation with my higher power and not think about the weird smell coming from my kitchen.

After that, I read a few pages from a couple of books that I have collected over time.  I either read from the big book, pages on selfishness or the pages that outline how us alcoholics should live daily.  I also have, The Language of Letting Go, Drop The Rock, Daily Reflection, and a journal.  I like to read a couple of pages and just reflect on what the message means today with whatever my daily struggle is for the moment.  I consider all of that meditation because it forces me to stop thinking and gives my head positive nutrition to feed on.

OK OK OK. The real meditiation…blah blah blah, you don’t care what I do from 5-5:45 am every morning.  So again, I struggle, but the more I try the more rewards I get.  First of all, I get out of bed, if I stay in bed I fall asleep.  Second, I just close my eyes and breathe.  As I take a breath in, I breathe in love and when I exhale I breathe out hate.  In God, out me.  In trust, out fear.  In confidence, out fear.  As I do this I concentrate on the words entering my body and then exiting.  I feel my body fill up with love or trust and when I exhale I focus on my body removing what I am getting rid of, fear, self-will etc.  I am now to the point that I do this a couple of times and then I can just breathe without words and just feel my mind and body relax.   Sometimes I think about a house on the beach and think about the waves crashing, but I can only do that for about five seconds before I start thinking about what shoes I was wearing at the beach and if my body was in shape to be at the beach.

The goal is to give your mind a break.  I try not to focus on making everything stop because, again, all I am doing is thinking about not thinking.  I try to just let it all shake out and give my mind a minute to charge and feed on the things I want it to have, like love and confidence, so that I can be in a place to be kind and loving towards all.  My higher power doesn’t tell me secrets during this time or give me the answers, but it gives me a chance to pause before I go attacking the day.  It gives me a moment to center and try to only give energy to the things I want to give energy too.  I usually only do this for a minute or two.  I am working on longer but just not there yet.  This is just what it looks like for me.  There is no right or wrong way to do it, which makes it so frustrating.  I wish I knew that A+B= meditation but it just doesn’t work like that.

 

Please forgive me if I got breath and breathe mixed up….it was a tongue twister in my head!

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7 Comments
  1. Excellent post. I think many people think of meditation as being something very structured. However, I have tried to incorporate meditation and mindfulness techniques in my everyday activities. Thanks for sharing!

  2. Thank you Jason. I wasn’t sure about this one but your comment helped!

  3. Yeah, I need to sit down and do this. Also exercise. Someone needs to come up with a way to do both so I can sleep in longer. Anyway, I don’t feel/dream/sense Jax. But I want to, so badly. I think this is a first step to stop my brain, open my mind and allow for whatever to happen, happen. Thanks for sharing!

  4. This is excellent. We all should try to meditate and learn how to do it “right” although you say there is no right or wrong, there is meditation and then there’s “just sitting there” But it sounds like you got it down. Stop thoughts. That’s the key.

  5. Reblogged this on Oscar Gonzalez on WordPress.com and commented:
    Great story about morning meditation routine. Read it.

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Where is the breath? Where is the mind? | Cattāri Brahmavihārā
  2. The best book on meditation….by Lawrence LeShan | Cool lady blog

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