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Esteemable things

October 3, 2013

In order to have esteem you have to do esteem-able things.   Things that raise your confidence and make you feel good for you.  So one of those things for me is working out.  I am not good at it, I am not consistent with it, but when I do it I feel good.  So tonight I tried Zumba for the first time at my community center.  My idea was to film myself doing certain moves to show you how ridiculous I am at it and how we all need improvement.  SADLY, I don’t have enough space on here to upload them. BUT what I did do was take photos of the video to kind of give you an idea.

I decided to try Zumba because I hear that it is fun, “it’s like dancing” people say.  Hell, I like to dance.  I think I am good at it even.  I consistently get 80-90% when I play dance dance revolution, so I figured, how hard could it be?  First of all, I was unaware that you need to get there 30 minutes prior to insure your place in the class.  I walked up 15 minuets before the class and was told they gave the last pass away but I could be the first on the waiting list.  So I waited.  More woman walked up to the counter and were disappointed as they were turned away.

7:30, the doors open and the women herded into the gym room, pushing each other out-of-the-way to get into the doors and claim their golden spots.  I was about to leave when I heard my name, Yes, I got a golden ticket!  It was mainly women in their 40’s-50’s, two dudes, and a few 20-somethings that I gathered around.  No one spoke to each other, they just kept stepping side to side to claim their spot.

The class starts, the music is pumping, I keeping checking everyone out to see what they are doing and hoping they can’t tell I am clueless.

First of all, let me tell you, Zumba is not dancing.  At least not my kind of dancing.  My boyfriend says I have one move, the shoulder move, and that I am a great seat dancer.  I disagree, but the shoulder move and chair dance are my best moves.  So, Zumba.  I don’t know about you but I do not do squats when I dance, nor do I engage my core.  Also, I do not woo-who, while I dance.  But I did get into it, to the best of my ability.  There is nothing more shameful and liberating at the same time as hip thrusting with complete strangers, especially when you can’t move your body and arms in different directions at the same time.

Here is my attempt:


Also, I do not kick, punch and turn while I dance either:


I just can’t do it.  I can’t tell my feet to go left and my arm to go up and right while my hips twist…what?


The main thing is that I attempted to do it.  I stepped on a few toes, I flung my arms into some people but I did it.  There was a mother and daughter that snuck in right as the class started, they did not have a golden ticket.  The boy who worked there tried to chase them out but he was no match to their lack of eye contact and avoidance.  I wanted to turn around and tell them to play by the rules!  Many women were turned away and they went home, BECAUSE THEY FOLLOW THE RULES!  But I reminded myself that it was none of my business.

I am sore, energized, had a good laugh at myself and feel good.  I can feel my body tensing up with goodness.  Today I put another dollar in my esteem bank!

If you want the video, let me know.  I can text it to you.  I think I might have had more fun attempting to video tape myself, while wearing a hoodie to hide my face, than the actual class.  The class was a lot of fun, but I can always entertain myself 10 times more…thanks to the esteem bank.

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  1. Shari permalink

    Love it! Great writing and motivation that you’re putting out there caiters! Thanks for the vid!! =)

  2. Laura Pawkett permalink

    Keep up the good work babe.

  3. Love this! Great attitude and when did we ever learn (and we all seem to have) that we had to be GOOD at something to do it? Zumba on! You’ve inspired me. 😀

  4. Good for you – trying something new! I’m not sure I would brave a Zumba class myself ;P

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