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Happy Birthday, Mom.

November 22, 2013

Today would have been my mother’s birthday.  I believe that she would have been 66 or 67, I am bad with birthday years.  This time of year is usually really hard on me.  Since my mother’s birthday usually falls around or on Thanksgiving she loved the holiday.  Not only did she get pumpkin pie but she also got presents.  I am a lot like my mother, we both love gifts and pie.  After my mom’s death this particular holiday was never the same.  I took great measures to isolate from my family and anything traditional.  I would bounce from one friend’s house to the next, making a drink here, eating a plate there, numbing out on food and booze.  I have been able to reel it in a little bit since I got sober but spending this holiday with my family is still hard for me.  The first year I spent it with my sister and her in-laws, which was the most traditional Thanksgiving I had in years, but it was safe because it wasn’t MY traditional Thanksgiving.  The next year I went to Vegas with my Dad and his wife.  We ate a steak meal and played slots, it was perfect.  I could tip toe into the holiday again with him on an extremely safe level.  Last year I spent the holiday with my boyfriend and his family.  I love his family and they feel like my own but it’s still safe.  I was able to have a family atmosphere without bawling at the dinner table yelling, DON’T YOU KNOW THIS IS MY MOM’S HOLIDAY!! HOW CAN WE JUST LAUGH AND EAT TURKEY? THIS IS TRADGIC!!  I am more than a little dramatic but its hard for me to see families enjoy each other sometimes, it’s easier when I love the family, but it’s still hard.  This year my dad and his wife will be coming to my boyfriend’s house for the holiday.  I am extremely excited and nervous.  My two families get to meet and share a holiday together.  I wish that my mother could be there to meet the family that is so kind and loving to me.  I wish that I could talk to her about it over pumpkin pie, but its ok.  My dad and his wife mean the same amount to me and I am just glad that they get to be apart of this other life that I have.

Happy birthday, mom.  I am not sure what happens up there in Heaven but I hope that you get your pumpkin pie.  I went to a medium about 2 years ago and she told me that my mom knows I want her to come see me but that she was too busy having a good time.  Although it had been about 8 years since she had passed, the medium told me that my mom was still up there running around and seeing what heaven had to offer.  Basically, my mom was having too good of a time to come see me.  For those of you that know my mom, this makes complete sense.  She was a party animal.  Not a drug and booze animal but she made friends everywhere and always had fun ideas.  I don’t take it personal that she is too busy having a good time.  I am happy that her body is now healed so that she can run around with her friends and laugh again, she deserves that.

dance

My parents were together since high school

baby

I won third place at a J.C. Penny cutest baby contest, you can clearly see why.

teeth

We both lost our front tooth the same day, we thought it was hilarious.

mother daughter

One of my high school Mother-Daughter dances.  She loved these events.  She would always brag about me and show me off, I’d be like, “MOM!”.

I know I always say this but it amazes me how time flies and life continues.  The greatest gift and flaw in life is that it always continues and it keeps moving.  I am so grateful for the families I have gained over the years.  The family I had when I was young, the family I got when my dad re-married and the family I got when I met my boyfriend.  Happy early Thanksgiving guys!  Pull out the stretchy pants and put away the mirrors for the next month, you can pull them back out when its “safe” again.

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7 Comments
  1. Laura Pawkett permalink

    Your mom would be 66 today. I remember the picture of you and mom when you were a baby… It was taken at Uncle Eddies house on Thanksgiving day….Have a wonderful day….

  2. Awe, I didn’t realize that was Thanksgiving…how perfect. Thank you for sharing that

  3. Happy Birthday, Creepy’s mom.

  4. Erin permalink

    Your face in the cutest baby picture is still the face you have when you don’t win

  5. Awww.. Happybirthday to your mom, she looks so pretty 🙂

  6. Amane permalink

    Thanks for sharing the pics. She sounds like an awesome lady. I had no idea she was so tiny!

  7. Amane permalink

    Thanks for sharing the pictures. She sounds awesome. Happy birthday to her. I had no idea she was so tiny.

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