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Ask and you shall receive

December 2, 2013

I haven’t been blogging about it but I had been looking for a new job.  I have been at this job location for a couple of months and without getting into it, I knew this wasn’t the place for my retirement.  My therapist told me to start thinking about what I wanted.  Where did I want to live?  What did I want to do?  How much do I want to make?  How far do I want to drive?

I decided that I want to move back to my home town and that I would really do any job so long as I don’t have to be on the dreaded 5 anymore and it pays my rent.  Really all I was looking for was to be treated right and if they matched my salary it would be a plus.  So I applied for anything and everything.  My therapist told me a story about how she applied for jobs out of her skill set and asked for double her wage.  She ended up getting one of those jobs and I was inspired!  One Tuesday I told God and my universe that I was ready for a new job and on Wednesday I had two interviews set up.  I am by no means tooting my own horn, if there is a horn to toot, its God.  He did this.

horn

So, I interviewed Wednesday and on friday I was offered the job.  It’s out of my career field and close to my current house yet close enough to be where I want to move.  I am also getting three weeks off!! HORRAY! God is so good.  The thing is, I was miserable and waiting for something to happen.  I wasn’t doing anything to get out of my misery, just waiting.  Oh wait, not just waiting, waiting and complaining, to anyone that would listen.  I live in a world of fear and I am constantly afraid of making the wrong move and walking into a more miserable place.  Fear is crazy prison and the only way out is to just walk right through it.

Thanksgiving was a blast but I’ll save that for another day.  I spent the weekend in Vegas with my boyfriend and his family.  I think that I have officially been to Vegas more times sober then drunk, which may highlight a new addiction but I’m good with it.  Our favorite game is to watch drunk couples fighting.  I am not a saint but I am so grateful that I don’t get drunk and fight like that anymore.  I have said too many things that I can never take back.  I was a black out drinker but for some reason I have flashes of me saying really horrible things even though the rest of the night is a blur.

Life is good today.  Life/sobriety is a roller coaster, as quickly as things turn bad, they turn good and vise versa.  I have learned that when times are good to hold on tight before it switches up again.   So i’ll be over here holding on tight and watching reality tv for three weeks!

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6 Comments
  1. Congrats!!! And I just wanted to add that I feel the exact same way as you, with the whole living in fear thing. I am always afraid of making a wrong move too…and I’m also in a holding pattern right now. I need to get out of my comfort zone and just try for something else. Sigh.

    • HA! well you can do it. If I can do it, you can do it! Just put yourself out there like thinking its fun and scary….lie to yourself, it works. LOL Thanks for reading and commenting!

      • Just today I am mulling over applying for a new job. It’s where I last worked, and my former crazy boss is now gone. In her place is a former coworker that I love, we get along great. This job would be more money, but would force me to do things that make me a bit uncomfortable (presentations, events, programming – being in front of people scares me…ugh). But it would be great career-wise. I need to just go for it…fear is the only thing holding me back. :p

      • YES! all those things are great things to walk through the fear for. Just fake it until you make it. I just tell myself, no one knows I am nervous or that I dont know what I am doing unless I tell them. You can blog, you can put yourself out there. Based on your blog, I bet you are a lovely, personable girl that people like to be around. I am sure you will do great!!

  2. Thanks for the feedback and the confidence boost! I know I just need to go for it. I have nothing to lose, right? 🙂

    K.

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