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Remember me?

May 9, 2014

Hi there. My name is CreepyCait and not only am I an alcoholic but I also don’t finish things I start and I tend to stop doing the things that make me happy once I get there. There, of course, I am referring to as the state of being happy. That is my long winded attempt to justify my absence from this place. This blog, reviewing it’s stats and the comments you guys made really helped me. I was at a new job that I was miserable at, adjusting to my boyfriend moving out of state, learning how to stay sober through
change and wa-la! Here you were. My safe haven. Then, the clouds parted, God picked me up and placed me exactly where I wanted to be and just as fast as I got here, I was gone. I apologize.

I must say I love that some of you have missed me. For an ego-maniac like me, it was like zero calorie cake, I just wanted more.

Life has been so good and so busy. In the last three weeks alone I have been in Arizona, Maryland and Illinois. I’m actually mid air flying home as I write this. I was sent to Chicago for training where I learned all about bad guys and how to catch them. The amount of money people make from medical fraud is astonishing. Every week I learn more and more about the scams that are happening just across the street. I love it. I’ll tell my boyfriend about it and ask, isn’t this just so cool? And he will say no, I prefer to think of the good in the world and not the bad. I mean, I do too but some of this stuff is just plain cool.

My boyfriend is moving back to California at the end of the month. He will be 90 miles away, starting a job in a new area of our field and we are all very excited for him and to have him closer. We still have no clue how or when we will live in the same city again let alone under the same roof but we are both good with this step that brings us closer. Step one, same state, step two same city, step three, same house. Or something like that, I’m sure my dad would like a wedding ceremony in there before we share a roof but he learned to accept my Creative Writing major in college so I think he can accept basically anything at this point. I really have no clue how it will work out but I know God knows and that he will show me the way when he’s ready. I’m good with that. I’ve never been happier and I’d bet a twenty my boyfriend would say the same. I got a raise so I can live a little more dangerously. Really though.

You guys really need to see my teeth, these bad boys are white. I was oil pulling five days a week but with my schedule being so crazy I usually only get to it now a couple times a week but they are white. I notice if I skip a few days they get dull but if I do it again they are pearly white just like that *snaps fingers*

I still struggle with my weight. Ugh! Why did they send me to Chicago for a week and pay for my meals? It’s a blessing and a pain because I have no will power. Have you seen a Chicago style pizza? How do you order a salad, dressing on the side when one of those is starring you in the face? They had buffet breakfast, lunch and snacks each day too. You all know how I feel about snacks. How do you walk by a table of cookies and diet coke and say, no thank you I’ll have this banana instead? You don’t that’s how. If you’re like me, you grab three while no one is looking, shove them in your mouth then the rest of class just keep going over the fact that you just ate three cookies in under a minute. I didn’t know if I should be proud or put myself in rehab. A girl I met at training came to dinner with me one night. I had a torta, chips with guacamole and churros. Yes, plural. After I ate she just looked at me in amazement and said, how are you so thin? You just ate like a sailor back from war.

You see I get comments like that a lot. Actually they usually say, you are really skinny for how much you eat. It’s kind of like saying you look really good for your age. I don’t know if it’s a compliment or not. Did you think I was fat before you saw me eat and now that you know I eat like a growing boy, it puts me in a not so fat category? Whatever. I’m trying. Some days I’m trying. I got a Jillian Michael’s workout video. I even did the work out in my hotel, I’m telling you, I’m trying. I did the workout monday and I honestly think I pulled the back of my leg from those inhuman squats she made me do. I have shooting pains and can’t bend or stretch out my legs fully. I’m a mess but I’m trying.

Oh, did I mention that I went and got four years of sobriety while I was away? It was a little strange this year, being away from the place I got sober. I took a couple chips at the new meetings I go to but no one there knew the girl I was when I walked into AA four years ago. They were very nice, gave me a cake and a chance to speak but they don’t know me know me. They don’t know how crazy I am or was. They can’t appreciate how far I have come from creepy caiters. I’m simply creepy cait now, that’s huge. I could talk for hours about how fantastic four years of sobriety is and how good my friends and family are at making me feel special but I spent too much time on my weird eating habits above. Let me just say, all of my friends and family are so happy I’m sober. They all answer my calls now. Any time of the day, that’s huge too. That being said, work happy hours in different states are still challenging for me. Free drink tickets? Really? Of course people ask, water? Really? Ugh. Ya really. I want to yell back, I’m an alcoholic ok! And storm out but I’ve been told I’m an adult and have to act accordingly. As my sponsor says, my job is to go to training, not happy hour. So I went to a meeting halfway through happy hour. Thank God for AA. I am so lucky that I can usually always find a meeting anywhere I am.

It feels good to be back. I’ve missed you guys.

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4 Comments
  1. Wow! You’ve been busy since you have been away. Busy is good though. Congrats on 4 years sober. That rocks!enjoy the new diggs…and don’t stay away so long!😁

  2. Shari permalink

    Missed you!!!! Good writing as usual, we have lots to catch up on Xoxo

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